Lonely

I kinda wish that my sisters were around my age. Don't get me wrong...I love the fact that they look up to me and I can be the cool older sis. But literally, I will be in my 40's by the time they have kids - so I'll be the old Auntie. lol

Now that I'm starting to have kids, I don't see her having anyone to grow up with. I myself grew up as an only child until Cel & Gaby came along 17 & 19 years later, just as I was leaving my parent's nest. I had my cousins that I grew up with in my Grandma's house and I consider them like my bros and sis's. But its' not the same b/c they have each other to lean on now that we're older and I feel kinda lonely, in a way. I have a great friend, Tanya, whom I love to pieces. She is ALWAYS there for me, been there thru my trials since we became bff's 8 yrs ago. She has 2 sisters of her own who are there for her too no matter what.

I guess what I'm saying is that I have been missing that piece of my life where that one other person is there for you forever and ever. Don't get me wrong - I know my cousins & friends are there for me if I really needed them to talk to or lean on. But the feeling's not the same. I dont know...I may be sounding needy but that's not at all how I'm trying to feel or look like. I have my wonderful husband who is my ultimate Best Friend though and he is always there for me 100%.

Playdates...I'm not sure how to go about that. I feel bad for Giana b/c when we take her out, I wish there was other kids that can come with her. I know I know - she doesn't even know or care b/c she has me and daddy whom she loves to death and haves so much fun with. I guess this gives me more reason to have more kids so she can have sisters and/or brothers to have around 24/7 to play with. I want her to have that commrodery of siblings to grow up with and be close too.

I want her to have all the things I didn't growing up and this is one...